Sunday, February 19, 2017

Parenting Tip - The Paradigm Test

Text from my daughter to me:
        "So I've been trying not to feel like a failure by choosing to run the half marathon instead of the full [this coming weekend] in AZ.  I just haven't been able to get the training in.  I'm disciplined in lots of other areas, but this one hasn't been able to be a priority right now.  I was feeling kinda low until I had a new thought - Oh my gosh Mom!  I passed the test!!!!!!!
    I chose sacrificing time running this school year for doing homeschooling and being with  my kids instead of out running for myself!  It's not a failure at all!  It's a giant victory!!!!!  How would my kids be right now if I was completely ready for the full [marathon]??That's a scary thought.  My relationship with A [her 11 year daughter] definitely wouldn't have been strengthened through this year.  She would probably resent me for all the time spent babysitting M [the preschooler].  M would be a screen junkie.
     Dang.  Paradigm shift!  So grateful!!!"

Text from me to my daughter:

     "Sigh of relief!!  You chose the good part!!!  You DID pass the test!!!!  I'm so proud of you and love you so much!! (Wow, I just had a thought - this text could be from Heavenly Father just as much as it is from me.)"


So what have you been sacrificing, that with a paradigm shift, looks more like a blessing instead?
Are you a stay-at-home Mom with a college degree and inner desire to be out in the workforce? What are you trading for and what benefits can you see if you look close enough?  Are you developing other talents such as gardening, cooking, love of children's literature, home repair skills, or beautifying your home with recycling items?

Do you have a child with autism, ADD, speech problems or other issues?  But are you gaining knowledge, insight and gifts that you wouldn't otherwise have?

Do you have to pinch every penny and long to have your husband out of school?  But are you becoming adept at finding sales, learning to sew, and acquiring skills to refurbish used furniture?

I've had to give piano lessons in my home my whole married life to supplement our family income. For years I felt frustrated and pitied myself.  Then one day I had a paradigm shift and was shocked at what I saw.  What I saw were blessings everywhere.  Blessed that my husband worked from 5:30 am to 3:00 pm and could be home with our children when they came home from school.  Blessed that my husband enjoyed cooking and cooked dinner while I taught piano.  Blessed that I never had to advertise and always had lots of students to teach.  Blessed that I could teach my own children and share my love of music with them. The more I looked, the more blessings I saw.  I immediately fell to my knees and poured out my gratitude to my Heavenly Father.  I asked Him to forgive me for my thoughtlessness and past complaining.  Over the years I have realized what a blessing teaching piano has been in my life and how much I have grown as a teacher and a musician.

Paradigm Shift: an important change that happens when the usual way of thinking about or doing something is replaced by a new and different way.

Look at your life, look at your problems.  Have a paradigm shift and enjoy the blessings you see.

Thanks for reading,
Cathy
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4 comments:

  1. Love this, thank you! Made me tear up today. I'm choosing to have another baby and give my kids another brother or sister instead of a perfectly pulled together mother and home (not that they ever had that in the first place, but I am closer when I'm not pregnant/caring for a new baby). It can be hard to see the blessings that will come with the baby when I'm on this side of it, watching my house fall apart and wishing I could do more. But I know from experience that babies bring blessings with them, and I am counting on those blessings for my family!

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    Replies
    1. Congratulations on another baby! I miss you guys here in the valley and hope you're thriving up north!

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    2. Thank you! We are doing great (aside from the whole stressed-out and overwhelmed pregnant-lady part). I'm teaching a preschool music class once a week and it is a lot of fun. I used your version of Little and Lots and everyone loved it. Life is crazy but good.

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